Promises of the liars

After the war in Iraq, and after Saddam’s disappearance, I started to think about publishing a book. Because of this I felt that I needed to have proof from the UNHCR showing that I had recognition as a refuge. So I went to the UNHCR’s office in Beirut in the middle of July (2003) to see what was going on there, to see what was new and also if they will give me a refugee card (or whatever is equal to this) I hadn’t been back there for more than 4 months.

When I got there, I found that nothing much had changed. I stood outside the office waiting for madam Jorget (I call her the reception officer) her job is to speak with the people outside the office and to deal with their demands. For example, if they need to do some thing inside the office she will lead them inside, or she just answers their questions. That is the procedures that UNHCR work with in Lebanon.

Like usually, Jorget appeared and started to deal with people. When I had my turn to speak with her, I asked her about my case and if there is anything new. She told me to wait until she has chance to speak to Halla, the woman who is responsible for my case. So I waited half the day outside. After a long while she appeared again and told me to come next week because Halla isn’t there that day. We chatted for a little and I told her that I’m working to publish a book on the Internet and I need to have a refugee document to use it in my book. She told me “OK”. I left the office with her promise [1^st promise] to have my documents next week.

I didn’t ask to have the paper/refugee card, or what ever its name in UN 51 convention. I didn’t ask for it before, because it doesn’t have any value outside the office of the UNHCR, and also I disagreed on what they wrote on it. It carries no recognition from the authority of Lebanon, plus the problems I had experienced with UNHCR toward me because of my activities on the Internet.

Last year they started new procedures to deliver this document by mail to the refugees, so every refugee has to now provide a postal address to have his documents. I chatted about that with Jorget and she told me that with these procedures they hope it will reduce the number of refugees who are waiting outside the office. So before I went back to the office I prepared my own postal address just in case if they asked for it.

The next week, I went to the office, and I stood outside waiting for Jorget. When she appeared, I asked her about my case and my documents, she told me that there isn’t anything new about my case. And about my document, I must give an address so they will send it in the mail she also told me that if I gave an address she will give the paper directly to them at the office especially for me [2nd promise]!!! She told me that many letters they had sent didn’t reach the refugees or it they were returned back to the office, and they just wanted to put any address in my file. I was prepared for that and I gave her my postal address which was just a post office in Beirut where I can go to collect my mail myself or send my friend to fetch it for me, so this way it’s not possible for them to have me arrested.

I did that because I had real security concerns after the many threats I had from the UNHCR in Beirut and also from headquarters in Geneva, and after their plot to arrest me. They had invited me to the office of UNHCR and then they called the police.

Anyway, back to that day; I waited outside the office for my papers. Then she appeared again to ask me about the address, I told her “ this address is just a postal address for a post office in Beirut, it’s not my residential address” after she asked me to provide them with a phone number to contact me if they needed to! I told her “I don’t have phone, and I use Emails” then I gave her my Email address. I noticed that she wasn’t happy about my address and we discussed it for a while and I insisted they could use my Email for contacting me, she told me, that she will ask her supervisor about that. She went back inside the office for nearly 2 hours. Then she came out again and told me to come next Friday and she will try to give me my papers [3d promise] directly in my hand if that is possible (I didn’t know why it’s not possible) I thanked her and I left.

On Friday I went again to the office of UNHCR. I noticed that they put my file number in the announcement board to tell me that I must to come to the office. They used the board as way to call the refuges when they have something to tell them to do with the third country resettlement program. When Jorget saw me, she called me to come inside the office, and she told me, Mr. Daniel the new protection officer wants to meet me. I answered ok, I thought that maybe it would be a new start for good relations between the UNHCR and me. After a while I met him in his office (where I had met madam Layla before) he introduced himself as the protection officer and he was an American from Lebanese family originally, he spoke Arabic well. He started by telling me, that after my last message I had sent nearly one month before to Mr. Mustapha Djemali.

Mr. Daniel told me that Mr. Mustapha Djemali called the chiefs of UNHCR's section in Beirut for meeting to discuss my message (maybe like a war council) and he (Mr. Daniel) asked to meet me. he read my file and found that there was a misunderstanding between the UNHCR and me! And since the situation in Iraq had changed that I had no chance with the third country program resettlement anymore! I told him the people of the UNHCR don't want me to have the chance to have a better life somewhere in western world because that will give me more power to continue my mission which they are afraid of. After that he started to discuss the only option, which was, that I stay for now and then return to my country (Iraq). I told him I'm not ready to return back to Iraq at this moment for many reasons, and one of the reason is my book that I'm working on now.

I understood that UNHCR will still not offer me any help like before, but the reason now is the new situation in Iraq! For me the attitude of UNHCR has not changed for more than 7 years. I wasn't interested to discuss all of my past history of the last 7 years with UNHCR in my meeting with Mr. Daniel, because I know that they will not change their policies. They seem based on punishing the refugees who dare to speak out about UNHCR publicly, those who are interested to speak about the UNHCR' procedures or even to ask questions, like they did with me for example. Simply they have black list for those who have a big mouth, I think that I'm on top of that big black list. I didn't think that there was any benefit from discussing the matter with Mr. Daniel at that moment because he was not able to change the UNHCR'S policies alone, so it's better for me to discuss these policies publicly, and that is exactly the target of my book, to shine a big spotlights onto exactly what is going on here.

I told him that I know well the situation and for the moment I just wanted the documents that showed that I have recognition as a refugee registered with UNHCR in Beirut to use in my book. He started to discuss the procedures about delivering the documents via mail for refugees and they must list my address and my phone number to contact me. I told him that I gave my postal address with my emails for them to contact me. Then he started to explain the problem that they faced with sending refugee documents via mail because it often didn't reach the refugees and they preferred to give it directly to them at the office.

Then he started to discuss my address and he refused to use it because I told him it's just a postal address not my residential address and I don't have phone because I'm poor! He continued to ask about where I'm living now; we chatted as if we were friends.

He told me that there isn't any chance of me joining the third country resettlement program, which it's the real help that they are supposed to offer refugees in Lebanon!
They would not use my address to send me the document, but they would give it to me directly at the office, if I provided them with an address and phone number (to find me when they need me! That was exactly what he told me!). [4^th promise]

He told me that I must have a better address or if I don't have one I should give my friends address and phone number, and he told me that it's just a routine in the office and he will give me my document if I find such address. I told him that I have a friend who has a well-known address and he has phone also, but I need to ask him for his permission before I can give his address and his phone number. We agreed that I will try to bring my friends address next week.

I left the office with lots of suspicions inside me about their insistence on having my residential address or any of my friends address’s that know me! What was more suspicious was their logic of telling me that there is nothing they can offer me but at the same time they wanted my address! To find me when they needed me (I don't know for what) I kept thinking about that over and over. I knew that one time they had called the police to arrest me while I'm in the UNHCR'S office to stop my activities on the internet and one month after that they sent the police to the place where I lived and worked, to arrest me because I didn't stop my activities. Because of that I lost the place where I was working and living, and I had to find another place that the UNHCR didn’t know about. That kept me safe for a year (I change my place of residence regularly for my own safety) and now the UNHCR wants to know where I live directly or through a friend of mine. For my own safety I decided I would not give them my address.

Meanwhile UNHCR moved to new building in Beirut. 2 weeks after my meeting with Mr. Daniel, I went to the old office to see what is going on with the moving and also to find the address of the new office. At the old office I found that they left the building completely and they put the address of the new office on the announcement board outside with a paper, and my file number on it with these instructions “ the holder of this file to come to the new office as soon as possible” I went to the new office on same day to see what they want, and to see how they are working in the new office.

In the new office I found the same situation as the old office. The refugees standing outside the building on Main Street pavement, waiting for Jorget. I waited with them until she appeared in the main door of the building. When she saw me directly she gestured to me to come inside, after she led me to her office reception. First thing she did in the reception, was showed me my document with my picture on it, and she told me “look it’s ready, we only need your address and phone number to give it to you” I asked her why she needed my address?” her answer was “to find you when we need you” and I asked “ but why would you need to find me?” she answered “I don’t know at this moment!!!” I told her “that isn’t logical, you represent a big organization and you’re responsible for the lives of thousands of refugees your answer is completely illogical, specially when Mr. Daniel told me that I haven’t any chance with third country resettlement program and it’s the only help that this office offer for refugees in Lebanon, I just want this document to use in my book, so I don’t see any reason to give you my address!” she was surprised then because she wasn’t aware that Mr. Daniel had told me the truth, so she started to maneuver in another direction.

She told me “maybe the law will change” and I told her “nothing will change unless they change their policies in this office” we continued discussing the matter for a while. I carried on insisting that I don’t have a phone and using my postal address in my file. She spoke “OK, if you don’t have your own, try to find a friend of yours who has an address and phone, I’ll give you the documents if you provide me with an address and phone number for any one of your friends” [5^th promise] she gave me the impression that she will give me the document if I give her any address.

I could have given her a fake address but I told her that I’ll give you a real address with real phone number belonging to one of my friends, he lives where I lived before, and that address is known by the police when they arrested me in front of the UNHCR office last year, and I don’t go there unless I have some thing important business there, so you can’t use that address to contact me or to find me because I don’t go there at the moment” she told me to wait. Then she called someone. I waited until she finished the call, then she handed me a paper to write the address, I wrote down the address and my friends phone number, we were in a friendly mood and I joked with her about the address, I told her that it not a fake address and it’s well known by the police. I told her “you can ask them, but the only problem is that I don’t go there because I want to stay alive and free to finish my book!!!” I thought she would give me my document but she looked like doing something else, so I said “if you are trying to phone my friend now he’ll answer that he doesn’t know anything about me since I left the place since last year” she answered me “we need to ask about you” I asked her “what you need to know about me? Don’t you know me?” and we started again to discuss the matter of my address.

I felt that that she was very eager to have my address and it’s very important for them. I told her “I can buy a mobile phone and I can rent an apartment with a well known address where you can contact me and to find me in 1 minute, but I’m poor and to do that I would have to borrow money. First I need a good reason to spend that money on providing you with my phone number and residential address” she answered me “OK, if you don’t have your own address, just give me your friend’s address” she meant a friend who knows where I live now!

At that point I told her “I’m wanted by the police because of my activities on the Internet, so I can’t expose any of my friends to any risk because of me. Can you give me some kind of guaranty that my the address will not reach the police?” her answer was “I can’t assure you that!!!”

For the first time I actually heard something honest in the UNHCR office! I thanked her and I asked her to give me back the paper that I wrote my friends address on and she gave it back to me. (I have that paper as a proof), on that paper madam Jorget had written some words with her hand writing, I consider this paper as evidence of what I’m speaking here about the UNHCR. I hope one day I can judge them in court maybe one day I will have justice, if there is justice on earth, but I know that there is not! So I hope I will judge these people who are working for the UNHCR in front of God in the afterlife because of all the harm I have suffered because of them.

Before I left the office without my document (I wonder what they will do with it!), she said to write everything down on paper and to bring it the next week. I wrote everything down of course, but in my book because I didn’t feel that I am safe there in the office of UNHCR in Beirut!!! All of that raised my fears again about being a target of unfair and dangerous acts from the UNHCR that exposed my life and my freedom to different kind of risks. The people who work for UNHCR are not happy with my activities on the Internet and with my project UMACR, they have refused to help me and they have hurt me in different ways, they even tried to kill me indirectly, and I’m sure now they will keep looking to stop me from continuing my mission, therefore I feel that I must take maximum security arrangements to stay safe here in Lebanon until I can find more secure place, and that prevents me from going back to my own country (Iraq) for the moment because my fears. I don’t want to put my family at risk, I made a mistake by giving them my home address where my family live in Iraq now and I hope they will not hurt my family because of me.

I feel now that the UNHCR had replaced Saddam’s despotism inside me. Before I left Iraq because I had fear from being prosecute by Saddam regime, now I can’t go to my home in Iraq because my fear from brutality of UNHCR and from what they tried to hurt me here in Lebanon

That will not stop me from continuing my mission to bring attention to the real problems that refugees everywhere in the world are facing and to change the UNHCR’S policies and procedures.

I’m a civilized man; I have dealt with UNHCR in a civilized manner. I was ready to discuss everything with them but unfortunately they are not what they supposed to be! They don’t respect human rights or democracy, but they act against everything even the law, I suffered much of their injustice and disrespect for the UN51 convention in many ways like revealing information from my file to other parties illegally without my permission. That is against the statement about confidential information that is listed in my file, which I gave as part of my application for refugee status according to the UN 51 convention. That was a severe violation of my legal rights and it exposed my life to danger.

UNHCR’S office is like an embassy and has diplomatic immunity, which means all the files inside the office are immune from government acquirement under any circumstances. Revealing the information from my file to Lebanese government is a dangerous and illegal act.

They tried to hurt me by using illegal means before, and last time I was in UNHCR’S office I discovered that they intended to hurt me again if they had the chance. They tried to have my residential address by using dishonest means. They refused to work with the procedures that they declared were correct which was to deliver refugees document via mail to a postal address. I provided them with my postal address but they refused to use it to send my documents, and they refused to give it to me directly after I provided them with my contact email address or by phone numbers belonging to my friend. Their insistence to have my residential address without any assurance to keep it confidential are clear proof of their intent to harm me!!!

I will work to stop this aggression and to find a way to start my life again somewhere safe. I depend on those honest people who love to help bring more respect for human rights and democracy in the world (not those who are working for the UNHCR) and I will keep looking for good people everywhere and to bring more understanding about the UNHCR. I hope one day I will live safely somewhere on Earth.